By calling attention to this question, by no means do I want to encourage any feelings of “I’m not
good enough”. The fact that any of us has space to grow is not a bad thing in and of itself. If
anything, identifying space for change can be a great thing. Being aware of who you are, how
you act, and how you want to change can be helpful in giving new thoughtfulness and purpose
to your days. Awareness is key to change and change can be good, but change can also be
slow and tiring at times – and that’s okay.
I have been thinking a lot about this idea of how my self, my self perception, and who I want
to be align or maybe don’t align – trying to find room for growth and space to understand myself
better. I recently saw a post on social media where someone said “Be the person you needed
when you were younger”. Wow – what an interesting thing to consider.
Thinking about what our child self or younger self needed from others but didn’t receive, can be
a difficult or even painful thing to recall and think about. But maybe it’s something you’ve never
really thought about in a concrete way before or allowed yourself to consider. I know I hadn’t.
Thinking about this, I have found that the answer has not come to me easily and may take time
for me to truly understand – but I feel like it’s worth it. My child self / younger self deserves that
consideration. And yours does too!
So what about you? What did younger you need? What kind of person would have made a
difference for them? Maybe start by listing words, or thinking about feelings that come up for
you. Once you start to have an image of this “person”, start to consider what needs to change
for you to reflect that “person” better in your life. Maybe the change necessary requires some
healing on your part, first. Maybe it requires some playfulness that you feel out of touch with.
Maybe it requires a community or some structure. Whatever space for change and growth you
see, know that making that change happen is a process and give yourself compassion. Being
patient and encouraging with ourselves can be hard. But we have the ability to grow within us!
All of these things may be easier to consider and work on with some extra support.
Whether that’s from family, friends, a bigger community – or your therapist! Make sure to let your therapist know what your goals are – we are here to support you through your healing and growth!