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“I Want To Be More Creative, But I’m Just Not…”

February 26, 2022/0 Comments/in Anxiety, art therapy, Creativity, Louisville Health and Healing News, Mental Health, Spirituality, Uncategorized/by Louisville Health and Healing

Feeling intimidated by the idea of trying to be “creative” can be hard for many people, especially adults.  As we get older, it can become harder for some of us to get in touch with that joyful, curious, less judgemental part of ourselves – our inner, free child.  To some, this inner child may be seen as ‘not appropriate’, or for others it may be perceived as a long-gone fond memory that “I’ll just never be able to go back to”.  This inner child is our first source of creativity.

 

Culturally, we value efficiency, production, and profit, which shapes the way we engage with self-care, fun, and with this idea of creativity or art. It can be hard to take the time to do these things or value them without some ‘perfect’ and concrete ‘end-product’. We deny ourselves the opportunity for fun or growth, when we avoid doing something purely on the grounds of thinking that it’s only worth doing if it ends up being ‘perfect’ or ‘good enough’.

 

How many times have you said or heard someone say, “Oh, I can’t make art, I’m just not good at it”. But, I ask, good at what exactly? Creativity can be so many things – kids know that so well! Our child self was so good at just scribbling lines for the joy of the movement.  We once loved the feeling of squeezing playdough and making strange blob-forms out of the colors, with no expectations or worries about the end result. Viewing art-making as having to look a certain way creates a divide between us and the very natural part of our human self that wants to make, be curious, and explore!  The making-of-things, or art-making, is one of the oldest human activities and defining human traits that we all share.  We are separated from many other animals for our ability to make tools – to create and be creative!

 

You do not need to make things for others, you can make things for yourself, just because it feels good to do so.  So, let yourself make strange things! Or ugly things! Or boring things! Or beautiful, lovely things! I find it helpful to focus on the joy of the process, and then when you are eventually faced with your product, try to look at it with curiosity instead of judgment.  Be curious about yourself and be patient with yourself.  Getting comfortable with making things can be a process, but you can do it!

 

Here’s an art directive that may be helpful to start with:

 

  • Go to the store and buy a notebook (or make one), ideally one that you like to look at. Cheap ones are okay, but finding one that you really like helps instill worth and sincerity in what you put into it.
  • Warm-up to your relationship with your notebook by collecting things you like to look at. Experiment! Tape in fabric scraps, leaves, cut outs from the newspaper or magazines. Maybe step on a page and leave a boot print. Dribble some coffee on a page and see what shapes it makes.
  • Find what you enjoy and play! After this experimentation, you may have found something you liked doing or seeing. Make more of it! Maybe you liked the shapes you saw in your coffee dribbles and want to make more – drawing faces and places into them, like staring up at clouds. Perhaps you liked the repetitiveness of cutting out images from magazines and finding interesting ways to tape them onto a page together – making collages!
  • You can always take this a step farther and start to fill the pages of your sketchbook day by day – almost like a journal to reflect on what’s happened or what’s been felt that day. I find this to be calming and grounding.  Your visual journal can even be a tool to help notice things about yourself over time.  Following up with your therapist can be helpful!

 

I hope you’re able to find some courage and start experimenting with your art-making!  If you find art-making and creating to be interesting or fun you may even want to look into expressive therapies in the future – specifically Art Therapy!

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Yikes! Kids are Back in School…

September 23, 2021/0 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Louisville Health and Healing

It’s 2021, a follow up year to a global pandemic and ongoing civil and community divisiveness, inequality, and social strife. Many of us are parents with children back in school after nearly a year and a half of virtual education and isolation from their familiar routines and gatherings. This is jarring for the child, the parents, and the teachers. As adults, working from home for a long period and returning to the workplace was a tremendous and stressful transition. Imagine being a child, where you lack contextual and existential understanding of the world, lack foundational coping skills for emotions, lack the language to express oneself fully, and still need years of training on social skills. You can imagine that while returning to school for many children was exciting, it was also very scary and very stressful.

You may notice behaviors in your child such as acting out, isolating, losing motivation, striving for perfectionism, sleeping more or not enough, appetite changes, separation anxiety, and frequent mood swings. These can all be signs that your child—young, adolescent, or teen—may be struggling to adjust. Moreover, it may indicate the development of depression or anxiety.

Terms like Depression or Anxiety often make parents panic. I don’t want my child to feel these things! Well, that’s quite normal to some degree. Feeling these things is part of being human. They are like smoke signals telling us that we have a need that isn’t being met; so, if we work on identifying the need and then taking steps to fulfill it, we can often mitigate those negative moods. It is when we neglect them that they become problematic. The next section talks about some things you can do to help your kids, so their distress is soothed, and their chances of stabilizing and coping are increased. Their need during this time is to feel safe, and that is what parents can do best for their children!

Coping as a family…

A safe place… Start by creating a safe place for your child to discuss what they are feeling. Ask them about their day and tune into the emotions you hear in what they say. For example, they might state, “I sit alone at lunch every day.” We can assume some feelings are present such as loneliness, sadness, embarrassment, abandonment or rejection. So as a parent you might state, “Oh, that sounds lonely. You must feel like other kids don’t want to talk to you.” This is an example of a validating statement, and you’ve just shown your child that you are listening to them, and you understand them. Typically, this will invite them to talk more. Keep using the validation and be cautious not to FIX. For instance, “Well, you’ll make friends eventually.” Although you mean well, and you want to encourage them, you’ve inadvertently dismissed their sad feelings. The truth is, you may not be right, and you may not be able to do anything about their problems; but you can be the person that makes them feel seen and heard.

Routines… Another important step is to create routines at home, these help children feel safe during a time when things may feel chaotic or unpredictable. Routines, when possible, can include mealtimes, snack times, reading before bed, a craft hour, bath time, homework hour, time for talking and sharing, a time for play and set times for chores.

Rituals… Similar but different than routines are rituals. Rituals can include watching a particular show with your child, taking a walk, cooking together, reading together, or playing board games. Again, these rituals create safety and connection.

Practice social skills… Provide social opportunities outside of school for your child, while educating them on safety. Most children are familiar with wearing masks and washing hands, but the continued reinforcement helps normalize the protocols for them. Meanwhile, help your child visit in small social events that involve 1-2 other children. Perhaps this is playing at the park, going on a picnic, hiking or seeing a ball game. This helps them continue to practice their social skills on a small, safer scale than when in school.

Meet the teachers… Get to know their teachers. This takes time…when we are busy with work, housecleaning, cooking, bills, and the logistics of it all, adding another task feels challenging. However, connecting with teachers has its benefits. We gather important information about our children this way, and we also show our children that we care enough to do so. The child feels a connection between home and school. This can also assuage any issues as they arise. Remember, you are your child’s primary advocate. Teachers have a hard job, more challenging than ever. This means they may overlook things, misunderstand your child, or attempt strategies that aren’t useful—not because they do not care—but because they are people that are struggling with the world and its stress, too! When you become part of the process, you offer immensely helpful context about your child to the faculty that is educating them. This is especially important for marginalized populations where their culture may differ from mainstream culture; or for children who have physical, cognitive or behavioral disabilities. As their parent, you may be the only agent for your child to get the support they need.

Mind your behavior, mind your emotions… Perhaps the most challenging yet most valuable thing you can do for your child is to dial into your own emotions. Your children will absorb your feelings and moods. If you are anxious, your child will likely become anxious. This doesn’t mean you mask them or hide them; but it does mean you want to temper your responses to your emotions. Rather than snapping at someone when you feel anxious, state your feelings calmly and clearly. Build reassurance into your worried statements. For example, instead of saying, “I’m worried about how to get John to and from day care on Friday,” you can calmly state, “I’m not sure about getting John to and from day care on Friday, but I’m working on a few ideas.” If your child notices your emotions, you can admit to having them, but be sure to reassure them that being afraid or angry is common and working through them by finding healthy solutions is normal for everyone. This sets the example for them when they are battling their own difficult emotions.

If you try these strategies and find that your child continues to have a hard time with this transition, you can speak with the school counselor to identify additional resources. You can also speak with their primary care doctor or find a therapist that works with children and youth. Ask these professionals about individualized resources as well as support groups for youth or therapy groups. Therapeutic group settings for children and youth is extremely beneficial. Getting help for your child is also a way to help YOURSELF…the parent…because this is tough for you as well.

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Uh Oh…Is it Alcoholism?

August 18, 2021/0 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Louisville Health and Healing

Working in the field of substance use treatment, one of the most common areas of confusion for clients and family is whether someone has a “drinking problem.” This is a topic that is discussed by friends, family and coworkers quite frequently. It can sound like, “John drinks every day, and on the weekends, he starts drinking before lunch. I think he has a drinking problem.” Sometimes, it sounds like, “Jane isn’t an Alcoholic, she just enjoys her wine, it takes the edge off. I mean, look at how her husband treats her!” But who is to say when alcohol use is a problem for any individual? After all, it is an accepted, popular, and even promoted activity at most social gatherings. In fact, people who do not drink often complain that people continue to pressure them to just have one until they give a direct answer such as “I’m in recovery,” or “I have health problems.” To make things more complex we have terms floating around like Functional Alcoholic and Dry Drunk. What does all that even mean? Well, that’s for another day and time. For now, consider the diagnostic criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder, the official diagnosis according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, 5th Edition or the DSM-V.

According to the DSM-5, someone meets criteria for alcohol use disorder if they have at least two of the following problems within a 12-month period:

Alcohol is consumed in larger quantity or for a longer period than intended. The person has tried but has been unsuccessful at cutting back. They may spend a great deal of time recovering from alcohol use or planning for and obtaining alcohol. They experience cravings or what some describe as urges and/or persistent thoughts to drink. Alcohol use has contributed to problems at work, school, home or with family and friends. It’s common for people to give up social activities or hobbies and other interests as a result of their drinking pattern. Some may even put themselves in danger, such as driving while intoxicated or using weapons when they are under the influence. Furthermore, one may continue to drink alcohol despite knowing it is impairing their health. Physical symptoms include tolerance to alcohol and withdrawal when they do not drink.

Be careful to assume these statements are as simple as they sound. These criteria can be widely interpreted. Therefore, it is best to let a professional with experience help sort through the symptoms. Addiction treatment specialists can interview people with trained objectivity leading to a more accurate assessment.

You may have noticed that the criterion does not mention quantity or frequency of alcohol use. There is no concrete marker such as 5 beers per day means there’s a problem. This is because each person’s body metabolizes alcohol a little differently, affecting the rate and level of intoxication per unit of substance. Moreover, the primary characteristic for problem vs. no problem with alcohol is the person’s life functioning. There are people who drink everyday or nearly every day, and they have no health concerns, no social or family problems, no employment issues and no financial consequences. It could be argued that the same person may end up with health problems or other issues later in life, but for now and for the duration of at least the past year they are doing quite well. Furthermore, the context of a person’s life changes the nature of the situation. For instance, if someone drinks in the evening to wind down and enjoy themselves, then there isn’t necessarily a problem. However, it would be more concerning if the same person drank alcohol each evening because they were depressed or anxious. This STILL doesn’t mean they have a problem, but it could mean they are developing one.

Obviously, the issue of alcohol use disorder is a serious one. Most of us are aware of the physical health problems of chronic alcohol use including liver disease, heart and circulatory issues, and weight gain. Many people are not aware, however, of the impact on mental health. Chronic and heavy alcohol use impacts the neurochemistry of the brain, that is why it is called a depressant. Overtime, alcohol can perpetuate anxiety and depression after its initial sedative and inhibitory effects on the mind. That’s concerning since the pattern of—comfort then pain then comfort then pain—leads to self-medication. Over time, the person develops tolerance and naturally they begin to ingest more and more, little by little. Therefore, alcohol use problems are progressive; meaning at one moment a person may have a pattern of drinking considered normal, but years later they meet the criteria for having an alcohol use disorder.

As you can tell, this is a tricky thing to understand. Professionals who treat these disorders are required to have 4-8 years of training depending on their credentials. Given the stakes and the complexity, it is strongly recommended that suspicion of a problem should be brought to the attention of a health professional. If someone is going to attempt to stop drinking, it is also important to do so under the care of a doctor. Alcohol is one of the two most dangerous substances to stop using. Due to the tolerance developed during chronic use of alcohol, people often experience withdrawal symptoms, some of which can be fatal. To learn more about alcohol withdrawal, you can visit SAMHSA here: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/atod or speak with your primary care provider.

If you suspect someone you know has a problem, or think you may have a problem yourself, you can call the SAMHSA hotline at 1-800-662-(4357) and learn more at https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disorders. You can also call our office to meet with a counselor to discuss in more detail.

 

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Recovery and Returning to Oneself

July 21, 2021/0 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Louisville Health and Healing

The term and process of recovery has become popular as it has become part of mainstream culture due to being endorsed by famous people like Eminem, Robert Downey Jr, and Demi Lovato. This is great news and opportunity for people everywhere to gain access to the recovery process.  A quick Google search defines recovery as “a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.”

Recovery starts when someone acknowledges substance/alcohol use or other addictive destructive behaviors. Recovery begins for the person that begins to address their trauma or abuse. Recovery happens for the individual who begins to focus on their anxiety and depression. The definition says “a return to a normal state”. I believe that the aforementioned issues creates a separation from who we really are.

The addicted person is disconnected from their values. The anxious and depressed person, often times, is experiencing separation from their physical self and presents as heaviness, tingling sensations and chest pains. The person with trauma is almost a mosaic of fragmented parts of who they once were, struggling to find the pieces that were taken or given away. RECOVERY RESTORES US TO OUR NORMAL STATE…

Recovery looks different for each person. Finding daily practices, integrating healthy habits, and striving to make the best choices are all part of the recovery process. Talking about feelings, learning how to eat, sleep and take care of the physical self are ways that we come back to who really are and intended to be.

People get the recovery thing confused because it is easy to fixate on the outcome. But the process is about the journey not the destination. Recovery is not an event that is over because someone relapses or stops taking anxiety meds or bails on their therapist because therapy is too stressful. Instead, recovery is like everything that exists—a process. The process doesn’t end. It never stops. We keep working and learning and growing even when we mess up or fail. That is part of the process.

Recovery is like a homecoming because it ushers people back to themselves. Imagination, creativity and inspiration can be obtained again. Life becomes an experience of meaningful moments and not a prison sentence of time determined by a clock. There will still be challenges but that’s what it’s about. Being restored allows us to overcome and get support from others when needed. You may decide that you do not want to go back to who you were. That’s cool too. Just know that recovery, allows for the reinvention of self.

If you’re in recovery or curios about the process, then reach out. We would love to be part of your process.

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Let’s talk Therapy!

February 27, 2021/0 Comments/in Louisville Health and Healing News, Mental Health, Uncategorized/by Louisville Health and Healing

Reaching out to a professional for support and guidance has become popularized in our society. Movies, television shows and series have highlighted characters and themes around going to therapy. Celebrities, athletes, and other social media influencers have personally talked about being in therapy and their need for help and support. Therapist have become a necessary commodity instead of a once novelty for the well-to-do. Therapy has become accessible through in-person, in-home and on telehealth platforms. Therapy has also become affordable through using Employee Assistant Programs and insurance to cover costs. People have become more open to exploring issues and concerns with the expertise of licensed professionals.

Who can benefit from therapy?

Simply, anyone. Most people think that they only qualify to meet with a therapist if they are under imminent distress. Although, that can be true to some extent, therapist can assist in many ways. Life transitions, feeling “stuck” and uninspired, seeking clarity can be a few reasons to get professional support. Expecting a child, getting married, exploring sexual identity, looking to make a career or educational move can be other reasons to reach out to a licensed clinician.

What can I expect in therapy?

Therapy sessions generally last 45 – 60 minutes but sometimes can last longer depending on time agreements and the need from the individual seeking support. The duration of therapy can also depend on the goals and objectives determined by the client and therapist. Sometimes several weeks and months are needed to achieve goals and other times in may take longer. Again, this is determined through collaboration of people involved in therapy. Often times, the presenting problem can be linked to other problem areas. For example, someone seeking therapy for anxiety may find that after developing adequate coping skills realizes their negative thoughts and belief system impacts their anxiety. The therapist may then prompt the client to explore how irrational thoughts impact anxiety and may even explore the origins of these beliefs. Therapy is not an event; rather, it is a process and processes take time. Payments, insurance benefits and any financial responsibility will most likely be addressed at time of scheduling appointment or in the initial session.

What if I am unsure if therapy is right for me?

If you’re unsure about therapy and meeting with a professional, then do some research. See what’s available in your area and consult with the people in your life. Most professionals are open to consultations and listening to your concerns about therapy. Again, we can never have enough support and we all need at least one non-biased person to talk with. Having family and friends that are supportive is extremely important and the people in our lives can be somewhat biased. Research the person you are reaching out to by reviewing social media content and reading reviews. Also, ask questions when you meet with the therapist. After all, it’s important to make sure it will be a good fit. In essence, therapy is about developing a safe and trusting relationship with someone.

Seeking a therapist and beginning therapy can provoke many feelings. Getting support from a therapist is not a weakness or a negative thing. It takes great strength to reach out. Again, we can all benefit from talking with someone at any given moment in our lives. I hope that if you need anything, that you will find some of what you need in therapy! You are not alone.

 

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Motivation for Change

February 17, 2021/0 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Louisville Health and Healing
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