September 2018 - Louisville Health and Healing

Spirituality and Everything Else

September 27, 2018/0 Comments/in Spirituality/by Louisville Health and Healing

Let’s explore an important part of humanity that often gets overlooked—spirituality. There are five components that make every human being:

Physical (our bodies)
Psychological (our minds)
Social (our relationships)
Sexual (our sexual preference and identity)
Spiritual (our connectedness to everything)

I am well aware that spirituality can be a controversial topic so I welcome any dialogue or school of thought. When I mention spirituality, most people automatically think of religion. I know I do. Even though religion has elements of spirituality and some of my audience may have religious practices, I will attempt to focus primarily on the spiritual part of who we are.

We are spiritual beings. Science and spirituality do coexist and many of us deny that there is a part of us that is spiritual. So, what is spirituality and how is it defined and measured? Spirituality is that intuitive part of us that is connected and synchronized with everything and all times. Technology and life stressors distract us from experiencing this connectedness. Indigenous people and tribes, now and throughout history, knew that everything was connected and there was a Great Mystery about it all. We have lost this natural ability to connect with Mother Nature, people, and animals. Look at how we treat and interact with all of these things. Instead, we have the urge to prove and determine the outcome and origin of everything through analysis to explain the, perhaps, unexplainable. I’m not downing science. I’m grateful for science and all it has done to progress humanity. Spiritual concepts like faith, hope, and believing can even exist in science. Again, we have become distant from these practices. The idea and quest to find a reason for existence is a spiritual path that science is trying to prove.

Have you ever asked yourself these spiritual questions?

What is my place in this world?
Who am I?
What am I supposed to be doing?

These are spiritual questions that all humans ask themselves throughout their life. We ask these questions to help us find meaning throughout our journey. Have you ever been on the beach, seen the vastness of the ocean and asked yourself, “where did all this come from?” Have you ever looked at the sky at night and seen the stars and the moon and thought, “WOW! Look how big the universe is!” Or, in the forest during fall when the leaves are different colors and felt connected to everything around you? These are all examples of spiritual moments that people have. These moments allow us to ask ourselves the same question science has been trying to prove, “Where and how did all this originate?”

We may never have a definite answer. There is a Great Mystery in it all.

Meaning and purpose are spiritual concepts. Meaning allows us to assign important significance to everything we do—even our suffering. Purpose allows us to assign meaning to our being—the essence of our individual and collective existence. Our life’s quest is to search and obtain meaning and purpose through all failures and victories (kinda sounds like faith, hope, huh?). Our suffering allows us to connect to a Greater Force. It’s the low spots in our life that creates pain deep enough to ask for help and guidance. But from whom or where?

We need to believe that there is more to all of this than us. What’s the bigger picture then? We are a granule of sand compared to the vastness of the cosmos in all of the universes combined. Somewhere beyond our existence, there are other living life forms. There are parts deep below the ocean’s surface that haven’t even been discovered yet.

Our curiosity and spontaneity are the driving factors for us to conceptualize spirituality. It can be defined however you want it to be. There are no right or wrong answers only what is true in your heart and mind. If you seek, then you will find it.

Spirituality can also be a higher consciousness and awareness of ourselves and the 7 billion people we share this world with. After all, we are all in this (world and humanity) together. Is all of this a coincidence or happenstance or is it the way it’s supposed to be regardless?

By sharing my thoughts and feelings, I hope to have helped you. I encourage you to talk with others about their spiritual practice and beliefs.

Helping Others and Happiness

September 17, 2018/0 Comments/in Mental Health, Relationship Advice/by Louisville Health and Healing

Helping others and happiness. Need I say more?

Humanity has needed help from others since the beginning of time. Our physical journey in life is to define and secure happiness. The ‘physical’ things like cars, jewelry, sex, money can not bring about secured happiness; its not enough and never is. Once these material things are secured our journey continues to pursue these things endlessly. They are all good things. I love money and work and….but these things never truly satisfy my soul. There is a constant yearning for more. For me, the ‘paper chase’ leaves me lonely, isolated, tired, and UNHAPPY.

The world is too diverse for me to live in the same box I’m going to die in. I know helping others creates happiness; shit I’m a therapist. “If you love what you do, then it’ll never feel like you’ve worked a day in your life”. This is true for me. However, not everyone can say that. I’m currently traveling in a country where I know very little of its language. This is terrifying for me because….I have to ask for help ALL THE TIME. What I found out is that when I ask for help I usually get it and I find my destination. When I don’t ask for help and I try to figure it out on my own, then I end up lost and feeling angry. See the parallels with life?

The locals have been fantastic. I have been meeting some really great people. I also see their faces light up when I ask for help. The smile is always an indicator of happiness. People generally like being asked for help. When I don’t have a fucking clue of what I’m doing and I ask for help, then it gives someone an opportunity to help me and the same is true for me.

The tribes and cultures our ancestors came from thrived in a community where people helped each other. It brought great contentment, unity, and happiness. Tremendous gratitude happens when I feel like I’ve contributed to the larger picture, humanity.

For you smarty pants—our brains secret neurotransmitters like dopamine (associated with pleasure) and oxytocin (associated with trust and attachment) when we help others. That’s why it feels good. So, something happens on a neurological level that actually creates happiness. You have ever been in a shitty mood and tried to help someone? More than likely you felt better afterward.

Helping others can seem daunting and it doesn’t have to be. I’m not asking you to volunteer at a homeless shelter or start a non-profit (even though you could). What about the small things like holding the door for someone, giving someone directions, paying for someone’s coffee, or listening to a friend who is struggling with something. The opportunities are endless.

Not only does it feel good to help others but it is our responsibility to help all those around us. My challenge for you is to help someone that you normally wouldn’t connect to. Chances are that you know who and what to do. Now do it!! Remember, we can all use more smiling people in the world.

Adieu

(Means ‘until God’ in French)

Compassion and Healing

September 10, 2018/0 Comments/in Mental Health/by Louisville Health and Healing

“If you want the world to be a better place, practice compassion. If you want to be a better person, practice compassion.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

I am self-absorbed most days and most moments of my life as far back as I can remember. It has been challenging to shift my focus off of me and onto the world around me. I judge that the majority of us stay in a headspace revolving around our own thoughts and ideas about ourselves and our accomplishments. (Or I could be so self-absorbed that I judge most people think like me) We are a self-absorbed culture screaming “me, me, me” at every opportunity. But how happy are you at the end of each day? Does your “stuff” and comfort really bring you sustainable significance?

No man (or woman) is an island. That phrase may be true but we are an extremely isolative and disconnected culture, even in the delusion of social media and connectivity. So, my journey this last week led me to the idea of compassion and how it impacts my life or how my life impacts my capacity to be compassionate.

Let’s look at a few terms to help conceptualize the essence of compassion. The Latin origin of compassion is compati which means “to suffer with [or together]”. A lot of times people will sympathize with someone who is suffering. This is an unbalanced dynamic. To have sympathy is to pity someone and often leads to someone being looked down upon for their struggle. Feeling sorry for someone for their struggle is not compassionate and is an example of sympathy. The goal with compassion is to feel another human’s suffering and to be present with them. Empathy, unlike sympathy, is about putting yourself in some else’s shoes. Empathy is about considering and imagining what it must be like to suffer the same way this person is suffering. After all, it is our suffering as humanity that connects us.

Don’t expect to be compassionate without suffering. Don’t expect to suffer while clinging to your comforts. Compassion challenges us to be present for other people in the midst of their hardships. Also, self-compassion is needed; the ability to meet yourself where you at when you suffer. Taking care of yourself is important. Sometimes, for me as a healthcare professional and healer, I am so “busy” helping others that I forget to nurture myself. This always leads to comparing myself to others and blaming and shaming myself and others for their imperfections.

This morning I was listening to the radio and heard of recent crimes and accidents in my community. I immediately thought of the victim, the victim’s family, the perpetrator. I began crying and felt connected to their suffering. For a moment, I was not consumed with my own shit and was able to feel the depth of humanity.

So now what??? Let’s move towards compassion, shall we!

These things can help you gain compassion:

When you hear of a tragedy try to imagine what that individual went through, the impact the tragedy had on their loved ones (open your heart a little)
Close your eyes and envision someone suffering standing in front of you; focus intensely on their suffering; allow yourself to experience their suffering
Close your eyes and envision yourself helping someone in some capacity with their suffering; see that person helping someone and see them helping others so on and so forth until you can envision everyone helping everyone in a compassionate world (This is part of my daily ritual)
Be vulnerable with someone and let them know how you’re suffering. Give them the chance to be compassionate for you
Practice meditation (loving-kindness meditation is cool)
Try being fully present with everyone you meet (put your distractions down)
Listen attentively and ask questions

Our journey to become compassionate has begun. I hope you enjoyed this. Namaste.

Spirituality and Everything Else

Helping Others and Happiness

Compassion and Healing

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